The First Day of School… Without Me

Today was the first time in years that I sent my girls off to school without also heading into my own first day.
No classroom waiting.
No supply collections.
No icebreaker games.

Just me, watching them walk into their new year while I stood on the outside for the very first time.

For so long, our first days of school were something we shared. They’d head to their new teachers, and I’d head to my new students. I’d juggle getting my kids ready with getting my own classroom ready, running on adrenaline and coffee, swept up in the happy chaos of it all.

But this year? This year I headed home to silence. Solitude.

And here’s the truth; it’s bittersweet.
A part of me is incredibly sad. This change feels like closing the door on a chapter I’ve loved. But another part of me is at peace. This is the new normal, and it’s exactly where I’m meant to be.

Now I have my own “honey do” list, something I’ve only ever been the creator of, never the recipient. I can (hopefully) volunteer in my girls’ classrooms and be even half the amazing help that other moms have always been to me in my old teaching life.

I knew this day was coming, but I didn’t know what it would feel like. Now I do, and it’s a little bit of everything. So, here’s to the first day of school and all the feelings it brings with it: joy, nostalgia, sadness, peace, and hope for the year ahead.

With gratitude,

Ashley